Round 1 of the Chemo Rematch - Ends today

Well, treatment #1 of my second round of the FOLFIRINOX regimen will be in the books once my 5-FU ball is detached mid-afternoon.  I am excessively pleased with the minimal side effects this time and complete lack of vomiting.  I haven't even really been that queasy.  Feeling good is good enough for me...5 more after today starting 12/13 and every other Tuesday. I will be done in early February and then it will be time for another MRI.  But that's getting ahead of myself.

I've tried to stay focused on the present as much as possible, and enjoy every moment that I can.  I've been reading a lot and learning a lot about myself since I first got sick in April.  More importantly, I've learned how many people in life genuinely care about me.  That, more than anything else, has given me strength I didn't know I had. 

Neither time nor distance has diminished any of the friendships I've forged in my life, and for that I am truly thankful.  From childhood to adulthood, you've all been there for me in one way or another.  I love my family and friends more than anything, except Elaine.  To paraphrase Barry White, she's my first, my last, my everythang....

Totally sleep deprived but otherwise feeling GREAT!!!

Up since about midnight, but woke up hungry and energetic.  Very happy there was no vomiting involved; I didn't even come close!  This is 1st.  It's a rainy day in Goochland, so a perfect day for me to catch up on some sleep and recover.  I want to be working out again by Thursday.  I feel more determined than ever to win this fight.  It helps to have such a large cheering section. 

I'm still upbeat and looking forward to Christmas, and decorating for Christmas.  I'm jumping in Griswold style this year...sans saucer sled. ;-) 

Thanks again to all my family and friends who have continued to prop me up time and time again.  I can never thank any of you enough.

Peace to all.

Mike

Chemotherapy - Round 2 - And some photos

Ding, ding.  Round 2 of chemo starts this morning at 8:30 am.  6 treatments total, ending in February.   I'm still on the same regiment (FOLFIRINOX) but at the original dosage I began with Round 1 in August.  (My oncologist upped my dosage at treatment 4 during Round 1, and that was completely horrible, so we're not doing that again, thankfully.)

I'm nervous, but mostly because the side effects are so terrible.  At least I've been able to pack on the pounds and work out in the interval since my last treatment.  I'm almost at 200 lbs., which is about 12 lbs. heavier than when I started Round 1 in August.  So I've got some wiggle room to lose weight.  This is a good thing.  Like Dr. John says, I'm trying to accentuate the pos-i-tive.  It isn't always easy to be upbeat, but I'm doing my best.

Here's a photo of me and my pooh bear, Tina.  It makes me smile. 

And here's me and my mom on Thanksgiving Day at my in-law's house:

And here's Elaine and her PIC, Tina:

I have a lot to be thankful for...

Even though it may seem like I've got a pretty bad deal here, I'm extraordinarily thankful for the life lessons I have learned since getting sick in April.  I'm even more thankful for the people in my life who supported me throughout, and helped me see the lessons through all the fog.  It's not about how much money you have, how big your house is, how prestigious your job may be, where you went to school, what political party or religion you follow, your family name, the car you drive, or the clothes you wear.  Life is all about the human connections we make and what we do with them and our brief time on earth.  If you're not living in the present, you're not living.  That's what I think anyway.  Since it's my blog, I can say whatever the %$#@ I want about it. 

To be continued...

Insomnia and fighting off the dark thoughts

I've been having trouble sleeping through the night since learning my MRI results, and it's getting frustrating.  I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this week, and seeing friends and family, but at the same time it's next to impossible to forget that 6 more chemo treatments loom starting the Monday after Thanksgiving.  It's very difficult to "stay in the present" and not worry about what lies ahead.  I'm doing the best that I can.

I have a lot to be thankful for this week.  Maybe I should start a running list...first I think I'll try to get back to sleep.

This sucks.

MRI Results and More Chemo

Well, this past Monday I had my abdominal MRI to determine the effectiveness of my first round of chemotherapy.  My oncologist called Wednesday to tell me that although there has been no growth in any of the cancerous masses (pancreas and outer lining of my stomach), there has been no shrinkage either.  So after 6 weeks I am right back where I started, but no worse off (at least physically...mentally is a different story). 

Starting Monday, 11/28 (right after Thanksgiving) I return to chemotherapy for another 6 treatments over 3 months.  Same regimen, albeit dialed back to the original dosage so I can better tolerate the side effects.  The increased dosage was too  powerful and I'd never make it through 6 treatments at that level. 

To say I'm disappointed in the lack of progress is an understatement, but at the same time I am at least pleased that the cancer hasn't grown.  I am going to enjoy the week ahead, including Thanksgiving, and eat and workout as much as I can.  I want to get as much strength and muscle mass back as I can in a short period of time.  I've got to win this fight. 

Many thanks to all of my friends an family for the love and support.  I wouldn't have made it this far without it.  You all know who you are and  I love you.

Treatment #6 of 6 is almost history

Today at 12:40 pm I get my flourouracil ball detached and this will officially end this round of chemotherapy.  Hopefully it was my last treatment. 

I get a complete abdominal MRI on Monday afternoon 11/14, and see my oncologist on 11/22 to find out what comes next: more chemo or surgery.  As I've written repeatedly, surgery is my goal.  The waiting for the MRI results will be excruciating, but not nearly as bad as recovering from chemo.  This last round gave me a rough night Tuesday, and the first half of yesterday was absolutely dreadful.  By last night, however, I had a hearty appetite and slept through the night without incident.  I feel pretty good today, although extreme fatigue will be with me for days to come.

On Monday I had to start taking a pancreatic enzyme supplement because I wasn't digesting my food properly and therefore was not getting proper nutrition.  The supplement had an instant impact however, and everything seems a-ok at the moment.  Weird tidbit: the supplement is made from pig pancreas.  I hope I don't develop the urge to dig for truffles with my snout, or turn into "Pigman" (Seinfeld reference).  Anyway, I'm feeling good and looking forward to a visit from my mom, brother, and one of my nieces this weekend.

My best friend from high school, Terry O'Connor, came to visit this past weekend, and we had a blast.  I treasure his friendship, and that of his entire family.  Here's a photo from the weekend: