Quick One--A Good Day

March 31,  2012 Good day. Got Elaine her birthday present. Got to drive. Got to play catch. Got to play fetch with Clyde. Watched basketball. Ate homemade apple pie a la mode. Stayed up late.  Yes, it was a fine day.

On the mend?

Since being discharged from the hospital on 3/20, I have improved bit-by-bit each day.  My appetite is good, and I'm regaining the weight I lost in the hospital.  (I was down to 180 but am almost back to 190 now.)  I feel stronger and sturdier on my feet, but the peripheral neuropathy in my fingers has been maddening lately.  I hope it subsides soon because it really hampers my ability to type, write, or do anything requiring fine motor skills with my hands.  It's beyond a pain the ass now.  It needs to stop. The medication I take for it is helping some, and I hope it continues to dissipate.

I am very tired much of the time, particularly in the wake of chemotherapy.  I had treatment #2 of round 3 on Monday and was disconnected from it yesterday, 3/28.  That's a total of 14 out of 15 scheduled treatments.  After the next one in two weeks I get more images taken to see where we are.  The fatigue from the chemo compounds the sleepiness from the pain medications I take.  I nap a lot.  Still, I'd say I'm hanging in there fairly well given what I'm up against.  Again, family and friends continue to support me and motivate me to fight.  There aren't words to describe my thankfulness for that.

Getting worse

It's been several weeks since I last posted, and it has been an eventful few weeks. After returning from Johns Hopkins in February, I was scheduled to have my first chemotherapy treatment of Round 3 on Monday, March 5. When I woke up that morning however, I was sick as hell, vomiting and unable to take anything by mouth. It had been building order the preceding weekend and came to a head on the morning of March 5. I felt so badly that I had Elaine call to reschedule my chemo treatment. The folks at the clinic wanted me to come in for an abdominal exam, but I simply couldn't bring myself to to leave the house. So I was sick -- with varying degrees of severit -- the whole following week, from the 5th until the 12th, when I went for my rescheduled chemotherapy treatment. I was vomiting before I even left the house, but knew I couldn't skip it again or forego having an examination. So I went. After chemo on the 12th I felt relatively decent, and went to bed that evening hopeful that I had turned a corner. I woke up in the middle of the night to something far worse though. I had debilitating abdominal pain to go along with raging nausea. I could not take any medications or even swallow water without vomiting. On Wednesday, March 14 I was scheduled to have my portable chemo ball detached in the afternoon. Instead of waiting, we called the clinic and reported my condition. I said I thought I needed to be hospitalized, and that's precisely what happened. I was in the hopspital from Wed. 3/14 through Sat. 3/17. During that time I was on IV pain meds, with a pain pump, and IV anti-nausea meds and gradually begin to feel better. I also got a celiac plexus nerve block, which deadens the neves from my pancreas and which seems to be helping with pain and nausea. I was given the choice to go home yesterday, and chose to go. What a mistake! I wasn't ready and I think I knew it in the back of my mind. Still, I chose to leave. I slept great last night but woke up feeling worse than before I checked into the hospital last week. So here I am, back in the hospital for the same palliative treatment in the hopes that I can get my mojo back and function at home with oral medications and the ability to consume fluid and food without using my veins. I am very close to the end of my rope, but will continue to fight as long and as hard as I am able. The pain and nausea are completely unbearable much of the time, but I am doing my best to beat them. Thankfully I have a terrific family and dear friends who prop me up when they can. More importantly, I have an amazing woman who cares for me and loves me like no other. Elaine is the ONLY reason I'm still fighting.