In 2 days we will mark the one-year anniversary of my getting ill. Although I wasn't diagnosed with pancreatic cancer until August 1, 2011, I was extremely ill from April through August. I was hospitalized numerous times, including for removal of my gall bladder, during that period. One stay lasted 25 days.
In the past year I have learned a lot about cancer and about myself. I've gotten to know my body much better, and am quite adept at reading the signals it sends me. I still need to improve here though because I still over-eat too often. I have to control myself better in this regard. I have to eat small meals.
It's hard to say precisely what I've learned about myself in the past year, but I learned a lot. I learned that I have a very high threshold for pain and sedation medications. I learned that I am fascinated by Buddhism. I learned that I am constantly asking "why" about everything.
April 6, 2012
One more day until the anniversary of the beginning of my medical nightmare. It continues today. I figure I can hang as long as my weight is good and I have some good days every week. The reflux at night needs to go. We're getting an adjustable bed and insurance will pay for 80% of it with a prescription. The NP at VCU is writing that prescription. This should help me sleep through the night. I need to elevate my head at times.
April 7, 2012
Well, here it is: the anniversary of my getting sick. I woke up at 3 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. A year ago I ruined Elaine's birthday by getting sick. This year will be different I hope. We're scheduled to go to Elaine's parents today to celebrate her birthday 2 days early, and Easter. This time I am not jaundiced or feeling particularly poor. I actually feel good for a guy who is slightly sleep-deprived.
April 8, 2012
Got a great night of sleep thanks to a memory foam back wedge donated by a friend. Maybe an adjustable bed isn't necessary after all! Woke up early and we finished our taxes and the yard work (I rode the John Deere) while Elaine did the grunt work with the trimmer and push mower. She's amazing. Nevertheless it was great to actually be able to participate and contribute at all. I am thankful for that.
April 9, 2012
Elaine's birthday! So naturally I was up at 4 a.m. with a splitting allergy headache that made me sick as hell. But I managed the old "Ralph and rally" from college days and was much better by the time we had to get me to chemo...did I mention this was Elaine's birthday? Do I know how to spoil a girl or what?
I handled the chemo well and at home afterwards had a nice appetite and very little discomfort. It sounds weird but I feel like I'm winning against this cancer. It's just a feeling though; I can't lean too far in either direction in the canoe ride that my life has become.
That's a good place to sign off...until then, thanks again to my family and friends for all the love and support. I can't win this fight alone, and I know I'm not alone. Feels good, even though I'm awake at 1 a.m. and can't sleep.
Sent with Writer.
Mike Markey
Email: mdmarkey@mac.com
Sent from my iPad
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