Improvement

After several weeks of anxiety, anger, and depression, I have finally come to peace with the need to change oncologists.  I am looking forward to my appointment with Johns Hopkins on 2/24 with Dr.  Dan Laheru.  I feel like I'm going to the best doctor at the best clinic in the world for pancreatic cancer.  It's difficult not to feel a little upbeat about that.   Still, I don't expect my prognosis to change dramatically.  Nor do I expect miracles.  I am looking forward to better and competent treatment, albeit in Baltimore rather than local.  My weight has been fairly constant throughout this second round of chemotherapy.  I am typically about 195 lbs.  My appetite is good and I've learned to adjust my eating habits to avoid discomfort to the extent possible.  Of course, this routine may all get changed after my visit to JHU, but I am enjoying some consistency in my bodily functions and energy level.  I still get very sad and anxious, but my medications help with that, and I've learned how to use them as well, without feeling like a junkie.  All in all I would say I'm doing a lot better than when I wrote my previous entry. I'll take it.